Dating again after a bad relationship

2021.12.08 08:57 raccoonbab Dating again after a bad relationship

Hey Mum, I don't even know where to start. It's been almost 2 years since I broke up with S. I always knew it was an unhealthy relationship but I've actually started seeing someone again. We've only been on a few dates, but we've spoken for a month and I'm now feeling so anxious.
This new guy is so nice and respectful to me, and the way he treats me has made me realise how badly S messed me up. How often he would do things without asking me if I wanted to. How he treated me like shit for 6 months, and even though I stood up for myself it would just continue to happen. I know the new guy isn't S but what if he turns out to be the same? Or worse? I thought S was nice when I first met him but I ended up on anxiety meds from the constant self doubt and insecurities that he created.
I really enjoy the new guy's company, and he absolutely listens to me. But now I feel myself analysing everything he does, trying to figure out if he's going to turn into S. I feel myself wanting to push him away because I'm so scared. I haven't been on a date for almost 2 years and he was the first guy that gave me a good vibe. He's so sweet, but what if he messes me around? Or what if I mess it up? I searched the place he told me he lived to see how long it would take him to walk to me (he was on his way to meet me) and then he saw it on my phone later on. Neither of us said anything but what if he thinks I'm a damn stalker???
It's only been a couple of dates but it's making me realise how badly I have been treated previously. It's bringing up bad thoughts again of doubt and insecurity. And I know he has to like me for me, but I'm so scared of the rejection, that I've convinced myself that it will happen at some point. My mind is trying to convince me that I will be rejected harshly at some point soon (overanalyzing everything he says to see if there's signs) that I'm like what's the point? No one will ever like me, or if they do they'll just string me along and use me until they're bored. And I know that that isn't true but Mum how do I tell myself that in a convincing way when all I've known is rejection and being used? And then when I've brought it up I've been told I'm the problem, or it's my fault?
I just want to scream to be honest. I want to continue dating this new guy, but not if I'm constantly thinking about everything the both of us do. I don't want to ruin this, because I know I'll just hate myself for it. How do you know people's true intentions? How do I behave in an adult way about this (I'm supposed to be 22 but I feel like a 14 year old when it comes to dating)? How do I tell myself to separate S and the new guy when they are completely different people? How do I make sure that I am my own person, and I can date without the fears creeping in? I don't want to be some obsessive girl, I want to just go in not knowing and see what happens, and have fun!
Please help!
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2021.12.08 08:57 Any-Maintenance185 So my PS3 erased all of my PSN sign in info.

I don’t even remember the email that was used. Has that happened to anyone before?
Also lately trophies won’t show date and time and the last game that was played isn’t at the top in the list as it should be.
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2021.12.08 08:57 freud_tylor Zekrom raid 8806 2686 5129

8806 2686 5129
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2021.12.08 08:57 anyoclock Disney's reusable scenes

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2021.12.08 08:57 PerpetualPixelNews PPN World News Headlines - 8 Dec 2021 • Putin Biden Meeting • Khashoggi Suspect Arrest • Prison Fire

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2021.12.08 08:57 son_of_toby_o_notoby Digne address him being dropped

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2021.12.08 08:57 Schpenka Urgent help needed what artist does this sound like?!! Needed for a college project and i lost my usb with all my work and need to hand in a track ive already made ;-;

Youve got mail.
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2021.12.08 08:57 KeyzedShadow I can draw any OC'S, Fanarts, etc. Newly learned Landscape drawings. PM me!

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2021.12.08 08:57 OddCarry1936 In England, from 1155 to 1752, the new year started on March 25. Why?

At least, this is according to Wikipedia, on the page for Lady Day . Very little information is given about this. The citation leads here , though that source seems to contradict the statement somewhat:

But though the legal year was thus reckoned, it is clear that 1 January was commonly spoken of as New Year's Day.
So according to the given source: January 1 was customarily New Year's Day, but March 25 was the official start of the year for "civil and legal purposes", just as April 6 still is today in the UK for tax purposes at least. So what changed exactly in 1752?
For eg: was Queen Elizabeth crowned on 15 January 1559, OR 15 January 1558, according to contemporary English chroniclers? According to contemporary lawyers? Contemporary common people? What about a legal contract signed on the same day, was that numbered differently?
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2021.12.08 08:57 newspaper108 [POEM] The Lost Auto by Roy K. Moulton

From The Topeka State Journal, December 8, 1913.
Lying one day neath the auto, Sweating and soaked with oil; I worked at a cranky engine And my only reward was toil.
I know not what I was saying, As I tinkered and wrenched and tore; I doubt not ’twas something quite savage, It may be I even swore.
My patience gave out on that engine, With a hammer I hit it a thump That jarred loose some thingamadinkus And started it up at a jump.
Before one could twinkle an eyelid, Before there was time for surprise, That car tore away down the highway, And I lay glaring up at the skies.
I sprang up and madly I followed, But soon gave it up in disgust, For that runaway car quickly vanished In a thick snorting cyclone of dust.
I sought it in byways and hedges, In highways and in busy streets; And, though I made thorough inquiries, With never a trace did I meet.
Perhaps in some future existence, In worlds far beyond mortal’s ken, I shall once more make search for that auto, But I doubt if I find it then.
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2021.12.08 08:57 ListenItWillHear Haha, I'm in danger.

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2021.12.08 08:57 blrm Data managed by blockchains is often publicly accessible. This can actually be an obstacle to the deployment of blockchains. iExec's research team contributed to a report exploring how #zeroknowledge tech can resolve this contradiction.

Data managed by blockchains is often publicly accessible. This can actually be an obstacle to the deployment of blockchains. iExec's research team contributed to a report exploring how #zeroknowledge tech can resolve this contradiction. submitted by blrm to iexec [link] [comments]

2021.12.08 08:57 angelstar107 Silvery Barbs is a balanced spell (An analysis)

Probably going to get downvoted into oblivion just for the title of this thread. I know the feelings around this spell are pretty hot right now, especially since Strixhaven only came out yesterday, but I feel like the vast majority of people have been looking at this spell in a sort of vacuum. It's currently being hailed at the most powerful spell in the game, a spell surpassing Shield, and from a purely analytical standpoint, I don't think that to be true.
First, let's begin by examining the full spell text because I feel like there is a critical piece of information that every is overlooking.
Silvery Barbs - 1st Level Enchantment Casting time: 1 Reaction, which you take when a creature you can see within 60 feet of yourself succeeds on an attack roll, an ability check, or saving throw Range: 60 Feet Components: V Duration: Instantaneous
You magically distract the triggering creature and turn its momentary uncertainty into encouragement for another creature. The triggering creature must reroll the d20 and use the lower roll.
You can then choose a different creature you can see within range (you can choose yourself). The chosen creature has advantage on the next attack roll, ability check, or saving throw it makes within 1 minute. A creature can be empowered by only one use of this spell at a time.

Let's start with the spell's effect: It applies to a single roll of the d20 and effectively turns that roll into Disadvantage. It has a range of 60 feet and only requires verbal components. On its face, this seems pretty strong. The Wintery Wyvern recently put out a really good video explaining this effect and the math behind it, so I'm going to leave a time-stamped link for you guys to check out here. He breaks this down extremely well, but what my major take away is how turning something into Disadvantage is actually weaker than I expected, only being equal to a -3 on the average disadvantage (2d20, Keep Lowest) and a -5 if the creature had advantage/disadvantage when you used Silvery Barbs on them, a condition some are referring to as "Super Disadvantage" (3d20, Keep Lowest). Again, I don't want to steal his thunder because he explains it way better than I can.
While a lot of the community is taking issue with the effect of the spell, a lot of the conversation centers on one specific point: This is a 1st level spell. Most people look at a spells level and assumes that it has a certain level of power with higher level spells having more power. When looked at in a vacuum, this principle is mostly true. However, this argument doesn't really capture the whole picture of magic as a whole, so let's take a step back for a moment to examine the Spellcasters themselves.
Without the use of feats or backgrounds, Silvery Barbs is only usable by Bards, Wizards, and Sorcerers. Each of these classes are full casters with standard spell progression. However, all of them have something in common: Even at 20th level, they have 4 first level spell slots available and they achieve this at level 3. This is a very unique limiter and I feel this is part of what people are overlooking when it comes to this spell. Once you use up these spell slots, you can't use them again until you have a Long Rest... as least for Bards. Sorcerers and Wizards have a form of Spell Slot Recovery, with the former gaining it through Flexible Spellcasting and the latter through Arcane Recovery.
Arcane Recovery lets you recover spell slots equal to half your level (rounded up) during a Short Rest (once per Long Rest) and Flexible Spellcasting lets you convert Sorcery Points into Spell Slots or Spell Slots into Sorcery Points as a bonus action. On the surface, this seems pretty strong for Sorcerer and the Wizard. However, in reality, this is only going to add 1-2 additional uses of the 1st level spell slots per day on average. Sorcery Points are required for Metamagic, so they will likely be consumed as part of standard combat as this is your core class resource. Wizards often rely on their higher level spell slots to deal damage/control the battlefield, so they're going to prioritize what makes them useful when a fight breaks out. In a very practical sense, these two classes have 6 1st level spell slots per day vs the Bard's 4 depending on how the player chooses to prioritize their respective resources. Obviously, this means people can achieve far more but they're doing it at a cost to themselves. This should mean that Sorcerer and Wizard can utilize Silvery Barbs the best, right? Well, no.
Unlike Bard, Sorcerers and Wizards generally can't/don't use armor and their d6 HD means they often can't take a hit. Both of these classes are extremely reliant on two spells for survival: Shield and Absorb Elements, both of these being 1st level spells. Neither of these spells are available to Bard without a Feat, Background, or use of Magical Secrets. This means that Sorcerers and Wizards now have 3 Spells that are fighting for their limited number of 1st level spell slots. If you lean into Silvery Barbs too much, you burn out your slots and don't have anything to fall back on for your defenses, which these two classes really need. Usually, the threats to them come when someone targets them with physical attacks or some AoE Attack like Fireball, so having your spell slots available to mitigate the threat to yourself is hugely important. These two classes, while they can use the spell, are likely to avoid doing so just because it avoids limits the risk of burning out their spell slots prematurely. Even the best mage can't avoid being targeted, especially by anyone who is either very quick or has range on their side. So, what about Bard?
Bards have a d8 HD, can use light armor (or medium, based on archetype), and don't really have any other 1st level spells that are going to be competing for their spell slots. That isn't to say that Bards won't be using their 1st level spells for anything but they also don't need to conserve their spell slots for defenses either. They've got more natural defenses than Sorcerer or Wizard and are more likely to be able to take a hit. For Bards, Silvery Barbs is a no-brainer, but the limit of 4 1st Level Spell Slots per Long Rest with no means to recover their spells means they still have to ration the use of the spell. Moreover, as it applies only to a single d20 roll, it only has a limited means of impact in the flow of combat.
So, let's now tackle the elephant in the room: Higher level gameplay. Beginning in the T2 level of play, the environment of gameplay changes. Martials get Extra Attack, Sorcerers and Wizards get Counterspell, Most monsters get Multiattack. Beginning at this stage of gameplay, much of a spellcaster's focus shifts to their Reaction as Spellcasters begin to pose the major threat in a fight. If you don't believe me, consider the fact that Counterspell is picked up by just about every single Sorcerer and Wizard when they hit level 5 and just about every Bard picks up Counterspell when they get Magical Secrets. It is basically a required spell for these three classes, at least by community standards when it comes to Optimized gameplay. As everyone is limited to a single reaction per round, are you willing to risk not being able to shut down a spell that could directly affect the outcome of the fight? No. Unless absolutely needed, almost no Spellcaster will make that risk once they have Counterspell on their spell list. Obviously, if it means risking death, most Spellcasters will use their reaction for something other than Counterspell.
The tl;dr of this post isn't to try and say that player and DM concerns around the spell aren't valid. However, when viewed through the lens of the game's in-built mechanics for its usable classes and player behaviors, this spell is actually way more balanced than it seems. What we really need to be asking ourselves is not what the spell can do but how players will use it. Realistically, Silvery Barbs will be used in two ways: 1. To thwart a Natural 20 Attack roll or 2. To make it more likely a creature will fail a save against a powerful spell. That's it.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Feel free to flame me in the comments.
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2021.12.08 08:57 clan_vizsla idk about you but I usually just hover across

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2021.12.08 08:57 The-Mandar Which commentary trio/duo was present at the time when you started watching WWE/F

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2021.12.08 08:57 homicidal_penguin Ridly from the rockstar zone

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2021.12.08 08:57 sciocueiv I am eating sushi

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2021.12.08 08:57 Craztnine Colorado representative Lauren Boebert's Christmas family photo

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2021.12.08 08:56 hot_the_chocolate Let‘s go!

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2021.12.08 08:56 LordR1ck hmm

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2021.12.08 08:56 ging289 Dangerous or funny?

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2021.12.08 08:56 drainmane Unexplained weight loss

About this time last year is weighed about 75-76kg, this march i weighed myself for the first time in a while and i weighed 69kg. I havent fallen below it really sometimes when i havent eaten i weigh about 68. Recently ive hadnt had appetite like before and im eating 2 meals a day with large intervals inbetween. This january i started walking a lot. Like at least 10km a day on average some days even above 20km. I ate 3 meals a day up until recently but lately i havent. I also smoke. Is there a reason to be concerned here?
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