2021.10.23 15:15 throwthewholemeaway- Does this happen to anyone else too?
I was raped in June this year, the most recent of multiple sexual assaults across the years. It was really traumatic, basically torture as he did BDSM things to me and was a sick sadist (not going into the details again, i think you can find a more detailed account of it in one of my older posts if you need context for this post).
I’m able to talk about what happened to me, in a very clinical way. I can detail what he did to me. How long it lasted. How I reacted at the time and the thoughts I had. The things he said. All of the pain and fear I felt. Exactly how I felt myself dissociate. I do it with clinical precision and very rarely do I cry when talking about this sequence of events.
But as soon as I start broaching the topic of how the assault has scarred me emotionally, I start crying for maybe 5 seconds and then it feels like my brain shuts down immediately like someone turned off the power in my head. I instantly go numb and stop crying. Does this happen to anyone else? Why does this happen? Is there something wrong with me?
It’s so frustrating because I want to find some release for all of the ick that has been left in me by what he did, but I can’t. I feel ashamed that I feel so strongly yet so little, that I can recite what happened with so little emotion. It makes me question if I’m even really affected by the rape, or if it wasn’t rape and I just unknowingly enjoyed what he did. I’m able to have sex and have even been hypersexual, sleeping with a ton of strangers and getting them to cause me more pain than my rapist did. I feel like I’ve been doing this to hurt myself and punish myself because I didn’t die during the rape, but what if I just… wasn’t raped and it was just too much for me but I enjoyed it? I don’t know. I feel like I’m just gaslighting myself at this point.
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2021.10.23 15:15 scaryuari a drawing page from my sketchbook
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2021.10.23 15:15 ModAnonMTG New edited cEDH Gameplay episode with Play to Win and Stacked EDH
Hey everyone! Got a new episode of MAMTG cEDH up today with returning guests Cam and Dylan from Play to Win along with Ken from Stacked EDH!
Match up is Thrasios x Krark v Yuriko vs Jeska x Ishai v Krark x Sakashima
Likes, comments and shares are all big appreciated!
submitted by ModAnonMTG to EDH [link] [comments]
2021.10.23 15:15 GinKape 26 [M4F] - PLANO NA NAMAN
Nakakatawa kasi last time na nagpost ako dito eh about sa napurnadang pagjjogging ko nang maaga kaso puyat. Guess what? Mukhang mauulit na naman sabi ko last time babawi ako eh haha kakapagod din magplano lagi lol kakapagod din na iparamdam na lagi kang nandiyan kaso wala eh chz haha tara usap? Anyone up for call? G message lang
submitted by GinKape to phr4r [link] [comments]
2021.10.23 15:15 CrappyViolinist12 I've been called basic for liking Beethoven!
Yesterday my friend's friend said that I was a basic classical music lover because I like Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata before telling me to try listening to Pachelbel's Cannon in D major. She tells me I'm basic then suggest the most overplayed piece in the history of classical music. 😐
submitted by CrappyViolinist12 to lingling40hrs [link] [comments]
2021.10.23 15:15 grahamtasticj Xbox next gen 5v5 matchup tonight? Xbs x
2021.10.23 15:15 Darthmalgus970 Weird glitch where new blocks spawned in the air in already loaded chunks
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2021.10.23 15:15 wyhivska "Toad on the mask" hardboard
2021.10.23 15:15 SmallSpleen855 zoil does the badlands chug with thick water
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2021.10.23 15:15 ZevrieDavis DANK SPONGEBOB MEMES................
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2021.10.23 15:15 Embarrassed_Trust305 SMC Hades 5 man shatter during Florida Mayhem Classic against Altiora
|submitted by Embarrassed_Trust305 to Competitiveoverwatch [link] [comments]|
2021.10.23 15:15 Trampoline_lover How High Can You Jump on a Trampoline
2021.10.23 15:15 ghysla13 Here comes some heat
2021.10.23 15:15 SplodingKitteh I've been watching too much nostalgic stuff that i'm just getting sad
2021.10.23 15:15 Jugdral-Stan "Woe Be to All Who Cross Me..." - Ayra in Baal's Outfit Fire Emblem Fanart Commission || Artist @Aoui10906714
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2021.10.23 15:15 Opposite_Lettuce I asked for "an uncomfortable amount of pickles"
|submitted by Opposite_Lettuce to deliciouscompliance [link] [comments]|
2021.10.23 15:15 True_Motor_9743 Explanation
2021.10.23 15:15 redditusername332 NECKLACE - ABANDON THE ALIBI
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2021.10.23 15:15 Pizzadren Switching liquidity to LUNA-UST?
Hi all, just wondering with the recent announcement to burn 90 million LUNA to increase the supply of UST, is anyone switching their liquidity to LUNA-UST to earn more fees from it?
submitted by Pizzadren to terraluna [link] [comments]
2021.10.23 15:15 foorm I guess I need higher spaces for the homie Ian to explore
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submitted by afattygetter to CryptoMars [link] [comments]
2021.10.23 15:15 BassBurr25 Draya Michele
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2021.10.23 15:15 hogeybear92 Piernazas
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2021.10.23 15:15 killugon5577 The scene of Rin being stuck in the tree is becoming the yashahime equivalent of the Kikyo sealing Inuyasha in OG😂😂
|submitted by killugon5577 to inuyasha [link] [comments]|
2021.10.23 15:15 curiousbowling Goddess
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